The Church - To Attend or Not

Have you noticed that less people are doing church today on a regular basis? 

I am not talking about non-Christians, I'm talking about people who confess Jesus as their Lord and Savior and have been Christians for many years.

Now there are more justifiable and intrinsic reasons of course, like disappointment with God, grieving over a loved one, deeply hurtful church experiences, anxiety related issues, chronic health issues, or a serious knock-down, drag out bout with depression. Yet for the most part, the current trend has more to do with wanting to do something else during that two hour segment. It has become a heart issue.

So, why are more Christians going less and less? Here are some common responses.

     1. "I can worship God in my home, no need to do organized religion."

     2. "The church is not a building, it's the people. I represent the church."

     3. "My life has been real busy lately, I just haven't been able to make it."

     4. "Sunday is my only day off, I really need a day to rest before my busy week."

     5. "I don't like the preaching, or the people, or the music, or all of the above."

While there is some merit to each of these, it still seems like those are mostly excuses without much depth, more surface level stuff. After all, regular churchgoing is almost as old as well, the resurrection of Jesus himself.

Now to be fair, the church must take some responsibility for the changing perceptions. 

• The sexual abuse cases by leaders that have tarnished the church

• The embezzlement of ministry funds by church leaders

• Crazy leaders with character flaws that have misrepresented the church

However, in most cases, these represent reasons why non-churched folk don't attend, not necessarily those who are part of the Christian community already. Unfortunately when it comes to non-Christians, the church has given our culture more arrows to add to their excuse quiver. This is a chief reason why the church must become more missional in its mindset. The battle we face revolves around a mountain of perceptions involving politics, sexual orientation, self-righteousness, and exclusivity that will only be challenged with authentic face-to-face encounters. They are not coming to us, we must go to them!

Back on Track - However, this post is not focused on those outside the church, it revolves around brothers and sisters within the faith. In this context, churchgoing has become more and more a second option, a plan B if you will. Nevertheless, it’s still unwise for individual believers to discount the value of church-going mainly because it is unsupportable by scripture. Therefore, just as we are not meant to take communion alone, so we are not meant to worship on an our own "island."  

The Children - Sadly, children are increasingly the one's getting the raw end of the deal because of a lack of desire by their parents to attend church. Unfortunately, this pattern unless its altered, will most likely lead to be the same practice by these kids as they grow up. 

More and more, parents are relying on secular outlets to fill the gap for relational and even spiritual nourishment. Ultimately, this pleases those opposed to "religion" because they don't really want our children to go to church anyway. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons why sports leagues, social clubs, and organizations often use Sunday's to support their cause. In the end, many parents are left with the decision, "Which is more important for my child?" Sadly the relational emphasis on sports, martial arts, or dance recitals have gained momentum as the new church alternative.

This is the world we live in today and a major challenge that churches face. Somehow, through love, grace, and prayer we must do our part to shed some light on this darkness that becomes worse year by year. In the end, one must answer if regular church going is really such a big deal? I propose it is for several reasons. 

1. It communicates to my family that Corporate Worship matters - There’s something important about getting up on a Sunday morning to gather with other believers. It communicates to my family that being in church matters and deserves a spot on our schedules. When we carve time out time for church on a weekly basis, it models its importance. We are training our kids an important discipline of what it means to be raised in the Lord.

2. We weren't meant to Worship Alone - Believe it or not, God wants His people to gather corporately to worship Him. Can you think of any other reason why God would command the OT temple to have been constructed or NT followers to gather together in the upper room after Jesus ascended? Now while some will insist that it is perfectly okay to worship God in private as a replacement, most do not possess the discipline to worship God in such a way on a regular basis, let alone model this rhythm for their children. Why? The answer is quite simple, we were not meant to worship God alone. We need each other to encourage each other to draw closer to God.

3. There is Beauty in Diversity - There is something about worshiping God with other believers. There is something about having our children worship God among their own peers. It is a beautiful thing when God's children, despite their social background, skin color, body shapes, temperaments, and quirks gather together and worship the same God in unison. Ultimately, this allows each believer to experience the reality that God calls all people from different nations, tongues, and tribes to surrender to Jesus as an act of worship. In the end, God is bigger than our immediate family and close friends.

4. Jesus wants it to be a part of your DNA - Now someone might say, "Well your a pastor, your motives are biased." While there is some truth to that, I can honestly say that way before I became a preacher, I made it a habit to attend church on a regular basis. I did not allow my internship, being a teaching fellow, my part time jobs, being full time in graduate school, a beautiful brunette, (who later became my wife) or even the best football team in the history of the NFL, the Pittsburgh Steelers, to prevent me from attending church on a regular basis on Sundays. Worship and fellowship with God's people on a corporate level has always been a part of my DNA. 

I figure, if Jesus could make time to meet weekly in the synagogues, despite his busy schedule, then how can I make it any less of a priority?

God and the Silent Treatment

I'm in a wedding kind of mood and I love the biblical wedding imagery of Christ being referred to as the Groom and the church as the Bride.

Last Saturday, I had the privilege of marrying David, my little brother. Even though he has been a mature young man for many years, to me, David, will always be my little brother.

As far as I am concerned, I have 3 little brothers, although two are much bigger and can probably take me, at least I'll let them think that! Regardless, all three are uniquely special and are fondly thought as my little brothers. I am also a little brother of Ricky, and it does not matter to him, that he is the smallest of the bunch.


When Silence is not Golden - I recently had some struggles with one of my brothers. Okay, it was more than a struggle, we hadn't spoken for about two years. I said some stupid things, I got defensive and did not listen. We never worked through the issues, we just left them on the table and put them on hold after our mother passed away. Unfortunately, often  hurtful exchanges do not just go away and disappear like that fading sunset over a mountain range, instead they have a tendency to linger and smell up the joint like a bad stench.

Yet at my brother's spectacular wedding, after more than two years of silence, something beautiful happened to me. I was tapped on the shoulder and heard a voice from behind say, "What's Up, Kene, it's good to see you." At that specific God appointed moment, my instincts took over and all I just hugged him.

I couldn't think of anything more to say except that I was so sorry for the things I said, and that I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. He just smiled and calmly said in his deep baritone, "It's all good, time heals all wounds."


Silence before God - As I reflect on THE BRIDE and GROOM analogy of the church and Jesus, I often wonder if there are people who have been silent with God for several years. I am not talking about a "thanks for the food" prayer or praying for someone to get better in a prayer circle, you likely don't know very well. I am talking about a serious one-to-one conversation where you have the opportunity to share your heart and just be real with Him.

There are many overt reasons why this kind of silence occurs, such as the loss of a loved one, a painful divorce, a period of unemployment, a pregnancy that has not been fulfilled, the crazy busyness of life, even a long season of singleness that has not been desired.

There are also more subtle reasons like a disappointment with God, a lack of genuine joy or even a detached sort of numbness for life. Whatever the reason, your relationship with God has gone dry and seemingly without flavor.

Today quite possibly, you really don't even know what to say to Him because it feels awkward and has been so long since you shared with Him.

I wish I had an easy answer for you, but as best as I see it, you might consider putting yourself in a position to just share your spiritual state of being.  If you willing to do that, I suspect, like my little brother, Jesus wants to "tap" you on the shoulder and say, "What's up, it's good to see you again. I've missed you."

In the end, its not what you say to God that matters, the most important thing is that you say something, whether good or bad. Just be real, God can handle  it.

Just remember this, no matter what has happened to promote the silence, one thing will always be true. He loves you. He love you. He loves you.